On a recent show, we discussed the angry feelings that can easily erupt for us as caregivers. A caller shared her journey in caring for her mom, and the anger in her voice and the frustration she feels.  Feelings that we as caregivers know all too well.  But, there is help …and this is why I do the radio show for caregivers.

Transcript of the call. 

I am Peter Rosenberger bringing you thirty years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy while taking care someone who’s not. If you want to be on the show 800 688-9522. Look we’re going to squeeze in a phone call here now, then we will go to the bottom of the hour.

Linda in Portland
[Linda] Yeah, hi, Good Afternoon.  Thanks to God that I got you today when I am in such need.
[Peter] Thank you very much for calling what’s on your heart and mind.

[Linda] My mom’s been in five different nursing homes and/or assisted living homes, and none of them are good. That’s why she’s been in five of them. But the last one she was, for twelve days I ask them to get her urinalysis…and a sample.  For twelve days, they told me they couldn’t and that’s just not acceptable.  It’s not real. I know they didn’t try, and I know that on information from the hospital she’s currently in, that they didn’t because it costs them money
and the bottom line is important to them.

Therefore, she didn’t hear get this urinalysis for twelve days.  She’s now in emergency intensive care in the hospital with UTI.   She’s gonna live, and everything is probably going to have a good outcome.  But while doing that, they had discrepancy between her medications.

So I brought in the medication log that they had from the assisted living home, that she’s in,  and they said that they’d actually given her nighttime medications but they could not because she was in the hospital at that time …so I know they’re falsifying documents.

I know she’s not getting the care that she needs. I don’t want to bring her back there.  I do want to sue their butts off, but I have no place else to put her when they make her leave the hospital, and nobody to help me move her …and nothing that I know that’s going to be any better or any worse then what she’s not right now… but I do want to see an attorney what … She’s in a really delicate situation.  I don’t want them to be mad at her, and take it out on her. I don’t want them to find a reason to make her leave, yet I don’t want her to stay there. She’s 98 years old.  You can’t move these people too easily.

[Peter] No, you can’t. Well, let me ask you a question …Let me give you a phone number.
I want to give you this phone number,  I will put this out on Caregivers With Hope’s facebook page (facebook.com/caregiverswithhope ).

John is going to get your number before we go okay?  Because they tell me your battery may run out I don’t want that to happen.  It sounds like you’re just really pulling your hair out over this thing …

[Linda] Oh Yeah …that’s the situation.

 [Peter] There is a company that is part of the show  ….that I love …it is called Care Advocates by Whole Care.  And what they do … is sit down with you, and they fight these battles with you … so that you’re not having to “lone-wolf” this thing. And it sounds like you could use a little bit of advice from these folks … The phone call cost nothing and they will assign a nurse to you who is much more equipped to deal with these folks on the med issues …and all these kinds of things.

And if it does come to legal action they’re going to be able to be a much better credible a witness and everything else in the event so that that you can go even further …not that you’re not credible but it’s that the family members ( and I have found this in way too many times) and this this is really unfair to caregivers and I understand I can just feel the energy coming off of the phone with you …because I know you’re upset by this but we caregivers are often dismissed because we’re not trained professionals, and that happens …it still happens even with me and I’ve been doing this for thirty years.
But you know, I’m also a black belt and Hap-Kido {Laugh} so I take a different approach in all this.  Also, when you have a radio show …they tend to listen to you a little bit faster,  but you know what?  You don’t need to have a radio show for you to be listened to …but you do need an advocate and that’s CARE ADVOCATES by WHOLECARE.  The lady that runs this company is a nurse herself, and these are people that are truly committed to this.  They’ve sponsored my show from the very beginning.  I love these folks, and you know what?  I trust them with my life.  I trust them with my wife!

They help take care of Gracie. So I’m not sending you to somebody I wouldn’t use myself here.  These are people that I care about, and they do a service for you because you know what?  You are too tired … you’ve got too much going on … And you’re too close to this thing, and you’re getting the run around and … the 3-Card Monte going on  …with what’s going on with your mom.

[Linda] Well, they’re promising you everything and delivering nothing. And they actually, well, their neglect  …put her in the hospital in a life threatening situation.
care-advocates[Peter] Well, that’s why you need some professional help on this thing, and you could call this number, and John’s going to get your number.  The number is 615 298-9201 for those listening, because I know Linda that you are not the only one dealing with this.  This is going to be a recurring problem even more. I mean it’s just going to get worse.  The health care industry’s stretched too thin, and the need is too great; the population has grown too much …and people are pulling their hair out over this thing, and people are getting hurt.  I mean real people are getting hurt, and this is unacceptable
[Linda]The hospital has told me that if she leaves, they don’t care because they have someone somebody waiting in line to take a room.

[Peter]That’s the kind of conversation that is inappropriate, and that’s why it’s time for you to   tag out.  I know you’re not a probably a wrestling fan (laughing) but it’s time for you to tag out and get somebody else get in the ring and fight this thing who has a little bit different skill set… that can give you a little bit of relief.  And that’s why CARE Advocates by Whole Care is so important you know I I’d
[Linda] What does it cost?

[Peter] The phone call costs nothing. It depends on what you need.  It’s all a la carte.  You may not need much.  You may just need a phone call from these folks.  They’re very reasonable and they’re very fair and they’re very competent.

[Linda] That’s exactly what I need!

[Peter] I’ve been doing this thirty years.  I am no stranger this thing.  I’ve got, you know all kinds of experience in it.  But most people are thrust into this that don’t have that …and the learning curve … you’ll hear Gracie’s ad for them a little bit later on the show …the learning curve is just too steep for you to play catch up; to get to the level where you can fight these people on equal ground, and right now you’re on unequal ground …and that’s not fair Linda.  It’s just not fair. Let’s even the playing field by giving you some real help here, okay?
John’s going to get your number, and I will call you back after the show.
we’ve got to get some help to you and we’re going to do it

I want you to know how much I appreciate your trusting us with your heart on this thing.  We’ve got to get some help to you.

[Fun Banter …but my fingers got tired of typing! …but you can hear the audio]

I’m going to get you this number. I want you to take a deep breath and know that you are not along.  I’ve got to take a break here at the bottom of the hour.

[Linda] Thank you!

[Peter] I hear your heart on this Linda, I really do! And there are people who can help you with this.  At least we get a phone call to point you to the right direction.  You may end up being directed to a Social Worker, or someone.  But you can’t keep fighting this battle by yourself …it’s going to take you down with it.

[Linda]  Oh no …I’m over my head on this one.

[Peter] Well, then let’s get you a block to stand on.

[Linda] Thank you!

[Peter] Don’t hang up …John’s going to get the number.

This is why I do the show!  I understand this. I understand what Linda’s having to deal with, and the heartache that goes along with it …and it’s too much! It’s too much for any of us to try to take by ourselves.   Even after thirty years of this thing, I still raise my hand and ask for help. I bring people into this thing who have better skill sets that I do for certain tasks. And, yeah okay, I’ve learned a few things along the way.  Yeah, I get that.  And I’m further down this road than most people are, but we all need some help. And it’s like Linda said, she feels that she’s in over her head.  well let’s get her a block to stand on. Listen, we’ve got to go to a break here at the bottom of the hour. If you have more comments or questions about what we’re talking about …we’re discussing anger.  I mean you could hear the energy in Linda’s voice …and she was struggling with this. This makes her angry. This is her mom. I want to help you with these things. We’re going to do that; we’re going to do it together. 800-688-9522 This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is the nation’s number one show for caregivers.