Hope for the Caregiver Blog
Dear Peter: I'm caring for my 93-year-old mother. She doesn't have dementia, but she's just mean! I've tried everything I can, but I can't make her happy. I've been sober for 6 years, but she makes me want me to start drinking again. I don't know what to do, I simply...
When’s the last time you spoke from your own heart?
How’s that working for you? Are you able to express yourself?
That’s the first step, and why I ask every caller to the program, “how are you feeling?” Not because we base this on feeling, but because I want to start the conversation with the caregiver speaking in their own voice.
While waiting on comfort and healing, our resolve increases when remembering that God sees the days, weeks, months, years, and even decades of our affliction.
The Caregiver’s Prayer Heavenly Father, I love _______. I have committed my life to caring for him/her, Yet I know the task is greater than my abilities. As I seek to help another, I ask for strength to shoulder the burdens before me. Yet I also ask for the wisdom to...
Pushing back against the isolation
Pushing back against the isolation Due to Covid-19, the world discovered what caregivers already knew: isolation fosters dark thoughts that easily take us down—often quickly. Pushing back on isolation as a caregiver, however, often requires creativity. Sometimes it...
When judging yourself as a caregiver harshly, be fair and use this criteria as well.
When judging yourself as a caregiver harshly, be fair and use this criteria as well. As a caregiver, think about all the tasks and challenges you face. How would you treat someone who does what you do and bears what you bear? Most likely, you would be gracious and...
Caring for Abusive Father Causes Son to Revert To Childhood Trauma.
My father was an abusive alcoholic for years. Now, he’s had a stroke and requires extensive care. Sadly, he still drinks. I’m 52 with a wife and kids, but every time I’m around him I feel like I’m a 9-year-old terrified kid again. How do I deal with this? Bill in Indiana
Over the course of my wife’s nearly thirty years as an amputee, we’ve learned amazing things about the human body, including phantom-limb pain. Amputees can often feel the pain of a limb long since removed.
Are you a caregiver who lives in the “…wreckage of your future?” Over the course of my wife’s nearly thirty years as an amputee, we’ve learned amazing things about the human body, including phantom-limb pain. Amputees can often feel the pain of a limb long since...
Dear Peter: The Bible tells us honor our mother and father, but my alcoholic (and now disabled) father was physically abusive and is still verbally abusive. David, in TX.
While one of ten commandments is to indeed honor your father and mother, it does mean that we must honor alcoholism, addiction, or any other type of mental impairment that leads to inappropriate acts. Sometimes honoring them means not engaging with their destructive behavior.
"He will bring forth justice to the nations." Isaiah 42:1 Approaching a large man working a booth at a national religious conference some years ago, I asked him about his organization’s work. His booming voice thundered, “Apologetics!” Without so much as a “how do you...
Dear Peter: Would you do it again? Chip, feeling reflective
As caregivers, we struggle enough with reality, so living in the hypothetical is never recommended. That said, I love the way I play the piano now, I love the way I write, and I am grateful for the ways I’m able to speak to fellow caregivers …
Dear Peter: Why does she go through bouts of Mania? Ramona, feeling overwhelmed.
Mania stems from a variety of sources. Some psychological some physiological. Step one is to make sure your loved one’s physician is aware of this behavior and ask for an action plan.
Dear Peter: How do we deal with doctors & their offices when you express what the issue is & no one responds to your concerns? Debbie struggling with doctors.
Doctors, and their offices, usually bustle and are often tied to a timer. As caregivers, our hearts and bodies are weary, and it adds greater frustration when we feel overlooked or dismissed. Particularly if we busted our rears to take off time from work and struggle to get our loved one there on time
Dear Peter: How do I not become so angry? Leslie, with clenched fist.
Sometimes anger is warranted. If your anger is directed at an impaired loved one’s behavior, however, your anger can be futile. How do you get angry with a disease? In cases where your loved one is behaving poorly and even inappropriately
Dear Peter: How do you get the doctor (s) to really listen to my concerns? Sherri who feels dismissed.
Dear Peter: How do you get the doctor (s) to really listen to my concerns? Sherri who feels dismissed. Dear Sherri: Given that changing doctors often makes more challenges, it’s usually best to try and hammer out a good working relationship with the one you have...
Caregiving Woman Can’t Make Her Mother Happy
My 93-year-old mother doesn’t suffer from dementia, but is so mean to me. How do I make her happy while caring for her? I’ve been sober for 6 years, and she makes me want to start drinking again. Terri in Texas
Dear Peter, Is this my calling? Theresa questioning her skill sets.
Your calling implies an authority outside yourself that speaks to your purpose. I can’t answer whether or not God has called you to this, but you are in it, and I am convinced that you can function in this role and that God can and will continue to equip you to travel this journey.
Our Heavenly Father, our hearts are filled will appreciation for those who donned the uniform of this great nation to offer their minds, bodies, and even their lives to defend the United States of America and promote liberty. Many in our communities still bear the...
He's What's Best About Americans. Over the weekend, in Anderson South Carolina, vandals tore into a historic cemetery that belongs to Midway Presbyterian Church. Standing in this picturesque town since 1833, this cemetery connects families to multiple...
As a parade of commercials open with, “During these uncertain times …” eyebrows across the country must raise in a level of incredulity as millions silently whisper, “Welcome to my world!”When times were “certain:” Huge swaths of our country hemorrhaged financially...
A friend who owns a small retail store was surprised by a clipboard-carrying bureaucrat. “We got a report that customers entered your store.” My friend asked, “Who reported this?” “We can’t tell you; it’s anonymous.” The man proceeded to outline the guidelines, while...